How NOT to Upholster a Chair

In the previous post I gave the history of this chair. I love a challenge (and so does Decor-Cat) so here we go:

The fabric I used is (surprise) a painter's drop cloth like I used for my headboard. I couldn't bring myself to experiment with expensive fabric. Much better to play with something I only spent $10.98 on.  That is not the price per yard. That is the TOTAL cost. (I'll be pointing out mistakes as I go. I made quite a few.)

 

Mistake 1: I could have easily used ONE continuous piece of fabric from the bottom of the back, over the top across the seat and then down the bottom front. Instead I cut the top into front/back sections and then stitched them together at the top hoping to get a clean line. 

 You can see that it didn't work. I didn't want it to look like a slipcover so I created two tucks (if you remember darts from home-ec, you'll understand) and stitched them down, having pinned the fabric taut.

 Mistake 2: Cutting the fabric away on the sides of the back. OMG now I have to make what are essentially sleeves. All that I needed to do was make sure I had enough fabric to tuck and fold then stitch down if I hadn't cut away these pieces of fabric. Yay! Extra work! (Do you think the dog looks depressed?)

I pinned right sides together and began sewing them together in the front, when I reached the top it became too difficult and I ended up whip stitching it together from the outside. I was using clear nylon thread so it was nearly invisible.

Mistake 3: Not stopping long enough to drive to the upholstery shop and buying a curved upholster needle when I knew I needed one. Next time that will be my very first move. Doing it this way killed my fingers!
But I do think it looks pretty good.

In order to get the smooth tight look I wanted I placed the fusible quilt batting I had leftover from the headboard between the old fabric and new. 

And then yes, I ironed my chair. 

The side pieces were tucked underneath then tacked under the arm, stretched over the top of the arm and then tucked between the arm and seat bottom. When I removed the front arm pieces they were just covered cardboard. I tucked and tacked the fabric the way I wanted then covered those cardboard pieces (using spray adhesive) and replaced them to give the front the finished look I wanted. 

Why not just buy a new chair? Vintage solid wood construction--that's why. Please note that the solid oak FRAME was stained. The frame no one would ever see unless they took the chair down to the bones. Ladies and gentlemen, we call that craftsmanship. And it's a very good reason to overlook some ugly fabric and appreciate the construction and design of a piece of furniture.

 All that pulling, tucking, stitching, and tacking became worth it when I started to see the lovely lines of the chair appear.

 The cat is my only real supervisor.

 I turned the chair over to secure all the material underneath. Decor-cat was super excited about this.

I haven't covered the cushion yet but wrapped it so you could get the full effect. After taking a poll on my FB page I decided I would use a bold fabric for it...

Then I found this fabric for the cushion and thought "Wouldn't that look great on the whole chair..."

Now that I know what I'm doing I may actually recover the entire chair the right way in a year or so. The cushion in this chair is so broken down that I'm going to replace it with a new piece of foam (the cushion has springs inside) but this is the final result so far except for that.

I know how you love a before and after: 

And naturally, now I'm looking around for other things to upholster, perhaps even correctly next time.

Happy decorating!

Once Upon a Chair

Do you have a piece of furniture that you just haven't dealt with? You haven't gotten rid of it because you know it's worth keeping and you haven't spent the money to have it reupholstered because you have teenagers at home, and honestly...what would be the point? In my case it was a chair I inherited. I had a slipcover on it when my kids were little and we called it the story chair. It was when I was going through my "I want Beatrix Potter and C.S. Lewis to come for tea" stage. I read all the classics aloud to them (my children, not the dead authors) while I sat in it.

The kids outgrew that about the time I got a dog who thought the story should be about a dog and a chair. Or a dog in the chair. Then I added another dog and she thought the story was about a dog who slept on top of another dog in the chair while the cat perched on the back and looked at me with an expression that said "You know this is ridiculous, right?"

Oh yes, Cat. I know. 

So here's what I did to remedy the problem, please decor-cat, and upset the dogs to no end.

I reupholstered the chair.

Sort of.

I kind of cheated. I like to call it Chicken Upholstery. (Let me be clear that there have never been any chickens in this chair.) But I was chicken to remove all the old fabric except on the cushion so I didn't. I covered over it. Which was harder and not easier than removing everything, and next time I'll just rip that thing open. Meanwhile the cat and I are trying to decide what to cover the cushion in...we're thinking BOLD.

The next post will be the tutorial, so stay tuned!

The Lusty Month of May

 Anyone else hearing The Lusty Month of May from Camelot? I always do this time of year. Usually about this time I am lamenting that we didn't have a spring and that we went straight from winter to summer. This year is unusually cool and feels a bit more like spring as I remember it as a kid. My husband and I had our last fire in the fireplace last week. Unheard of in the south. Here's a glimpse of what's going on around here.

Queen Bee Wars: Swarming Mean Girls

   "And finally, the nominees for 'Spring Fling Queen'! Regina George..." In this case the Spring Fling was half my bee colony following their queen (now named Regina George) and swarming to a nearby apple tree.  As the swarm saga dragged on, quotes from Mean Girls kept popping into my head. I successfully caught the queen and her little entourage in a box. I was feeling pretty proud of myself for having such awesome beekeeping skills.

REGINA GEORGE
I know, right?  

That skank was mocking me. But I didn't know it...yet. 

 I left them in the box all day Monday while I ordered a lovely new home for them (I'm not just a regular mom, I'm a cool mom). On Tuesday however I got worried about them and decided to just split the hive I had into two hives and place the swarm and their queen into one with brood and honey, making sure not to mix in any queen cells which were on some of the frames. The moment I had accomplished this the FedEx guy delivered the new hive. Meanwhile, Regina and her swarm flew straight back up into the tree. Of course, they didn't just gather on one limb I could clip easily and cleanly. Oh no, they were hanging tight to the most gnarly bunch of twisted limbs that ever graced an apple tree.

And evil takes (insect) form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that. She's the queen bee - the star, those other (twenty thousand) are just her little workers. 

Okay, I can accept a minor set back. I got another box and collected that skank and her buzzing army again. Now... it was on.  I climbed the ladder to get close to the swarm. I cut off the branches they were clustered on one at a time and dropped them  into the box. I checked the opening at the bottom corner to see if any bees were fanning.

Nothing.

 She always looks fierce. She always wins Spring Fling Queen. 

Not this time. I'm determined to win.

I went back up the ladder, found another tightly clustered group of bees, clipped the branch and dropped it into the box. I turned the box around and saw several bees around the opening fanning like mad. In a fit of frustration, knowing I had her and had won again, I scampered up the ladder brushing her remaining minions off limbs and branches while I told them what I thought of them. Loudly and with colorful language. Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit...

I got stung on my arm. Through my suit, which at this point I had had on for several hours. I was drenched with sweat underneath it and I smelled like smoke. I felt shaky and faint. These skanks were playing to win.

 
(Swarm member): Why are you dressed so scary?
Me: It's Halloween and I'm supposed to be a beekeeper.

REGINA GEORGE
I love her. She's like a Martian!

The next morning I took the frames out of the new hive, put in one frame of brood (eggs which were laid by Regina) and went about dumping thousands of angry girls into their new digs. I was sure to turn the box over this time and open it from the bottom since the bees cluster at the top. I checked the box. There in between two pieces of cardboard that I hadn't taped together were a cluster of bees fanning furiously.  I couldn't believe it. I brushed and looked furiously for Regina but couldn't see her. She had outsmarted me.

REGINA GEORGE
I know, right? 

I just wanted so badly to get these bees in the new hive.  I had assembled, primed, and painted it in between tree climbing exploits. Why didn't she want to go in her lovely new house?  I was working so hard for her. When I related all this to my husband when he returned home he asked why I just couldn't let her go.

 The weird thing about hanging out with Regina was that I could hate her, and at the same time, I still wanted her to like me.

I waited for the swarm to gather again on the apple tree. On a bigger limb. Back into my bee suit I went.

On Wednesdays we wear pink. Well, fine. Underneath the protective suit.

 Regina: Oh my God, I love your bee suit! Where did you get it?
Me: Off the internet.
Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
Me: Thanks.
Regina: [after I walk away] That is the ugliest f-ing bee suit I've ever seen. 

My husband arrived from errands just in time to see me on the ladder with the pruners. "Why can't you just let her go, you are destroying our apple tree."

 REGINA GEORGE
I know, right? 

He didn't get it. I had to win. I could not be beaten by a queen bee, especially a literal one. I caught the swarm a THIRD time and dropped them into a box. No queen. I went back up to try again with another box, a smaller one.

I dropped the main group of bees into it. That was it. She was in. In the photo above you can see bees with their tails up fanning furiously to signal their sisters where she is. This time I took the ENTIRE box and put it in the hive.  

Regina George: Why are you so obsessed with me?

This morning in a light drizzle I smoked the hive and poured the box of bees into the hive and replaced the frames. I blocked the entrance and felt victorious. Relieved.

Maybe a little like a queen bee.

 Finally, Girl World was at peace. And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace, well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it.

Catching My First Swarm

One of the benefits of having your beehive in your backyard is that you can keep a close eye on them. One of the hazards is having to explain to the new neighbors that you need a box (you know they have lots of them since they just moved in) to put your thousands of swarming bees in.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

On a warm afternoon last week between my hive and a row of trees beyond the neighbor's house the air was thick with bees. I wondered if my bees might be swarming but the amount of bees I saw seemed to be far more than I think are in my hive. My bees flew back and forth between the hive and the swarm, but the swarm seemed to move on in 20 minutes or so. Since then we've had several days of rain and record breaking cold temps for May. But yesterday, the sun came out for about half an hour and my bees decided swarming seemed like a fine idea. I thought they might be doing what is called orienting--what new bees do when they exit the hive for the first time and get their bearings--but this was different. These bees were LOUD. The air was humming. As I watched, more and more of them began to congregate in an apple tree about 10 feet from the hive. Eventually, the air calmed and I went out side to see what was going on. I looked up and about 12 feet off the ground was a cluster of bees on a limb.

I'd been dreading this. They'd swarmed.

The good news was that they were close by, on my own property, and that swarming is a natural part of colony reproduction and generally means I have a strong group of bees..

The bad news was it's the weekend and my neighbors were all outside, I didn't have any extra equipment. And, I'll be honest, I have no idea what to do.

Well, technically that's not true.

 I know what to do. I just don't like any of my options.

They all involved me on a ladder with a swarm of upset bees, sharp pruners, and a fiery smoker.

I was not feeling confident but not knowing how long they would hang around I needed to act. I donned my bee suit just in time for my daughter and son-in-law to arrive for an impromptu Sunday afternoon visit. My daughter found the entire scenario extremely entertaining.  After several failed attempts at lighting the smoker my husband got it going, I grabbed the box and headed up the ladder. The bees couldn't be conveniently placed on a limb which I could easily snip off and place in the box. No. They were on a large limb of the tree with involved me scraping them off with a soft brush into the box.

I tried to remain calm as I reached over my head, raking off bees most of which were landing on my bee veil before falling into the box. But it isn't like having hundreds of bees falling into your face is disconcerting in any way.  I was hoping to brush off nearly all of them but then I felt something...

inside my bee suit. Crawling on my stomach. I tried to ignore it but then realized I was feeling more than one.

I stepped down from the ladder.

Off came my gloves. I was about to remove my bee suit when my helpful audience (hecklers) shouted that there were a lot of bees on my suit. They made themselves helpful by knocking them off and I stripped my outer garment off.

I still felt something.

The bees were inside my clothing.

I leaned over shaking my shirt and pulling it up and nearly off to give the bee a way of escape. My daughter was laughing hysterically and I think my son-in-law is scarred for life.

I remembered that I had almost worn nothing under my bee suit. I was extremely happy I hadn't gone with that choice. I'm enough entertainment for neighbors as it is without adding an over the hill burlesque show to my repertoire.

After a half an hour or so I went back to check on the situation. I'd left the box atop the ladder in hopes that I had the queen and the remaining bees would fly in. A few bees were outside the entrance, bottoms up, fanning their wings like mad.

This is bee code for "Hey y'all! The queen is in here!"

I went inside and left them alone. We went to a party where my bee story was greatly appreciated and returned home just as it was getting dark. My plan was to get more of the swarm if they were still on the tree. They were and I put my bee suit on again, and googled "catching a swarm at night." The more I read the more it sounded like a bad idea.

A ladder, pruners, a swarm of angry bees, in the dark. I decided to call it a day and reassess things in the morning. It certainly seemed like the main objective had been achieved: the queen was in the box. I hoped the remaining bees would follow...

 This morning it was cold and rainy. About half the swarm was still clumped together on that branch. Some of the duct tape on the top of the box had come loose overnight and bees were escaping. I opened the box to see how many were inside.

Okay. About half the swarm. I took clippers up the ladder and snipped off small branches with bees on them and dropped them into the box.

This time I taped up the box, put a sheet on the ground and made a ramp for the bees to climb up. This works with their natural urge to go UP. 

Eventually they did go willingly into the box. I still have a few stragglers on the tree but getting 75% of them was good enough for me. That's a lot to get done before breakfast so I went inside and sat down to order supplies for my new second bee colony.

This entire process took longer than it should have because I kept watching Youtube videos of "how NOT to catch a swarm" and laughing hysterically. My favorite was of an Australian guy trying to shake them out of a tree. When the bees promptly flew from the box back to the tree, his friend who was videotaping his attempt said "So would you say that's not how to do it, then?"

Apparently hecklers come with beekeeping.